Think Jokes

This the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said one day, you'll leave this world behind. So live a life you will remember. My father told me when I was just a child, these are the nights that never die. My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply it makes me wanna cry :(

My Infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

I tried to think of how lighting works.then it struck me.

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

What starts with s and ends with erm? SuperM. This means both matrix and master so take out the u and then you just get master. When you think of sperm you think of porn. If your a master at something your also a star at it. So you get porn star.

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you? “Cmon, did ya really think I’d resist a-rest?”

My girlfriend asked my whether I was having sex behind her back and I replied "yes who did you think it was".

Kid: my parents want to meet you, you wanna come over. Orphan: Na I’m good, I’m going to watch home alone, it’s the only movie that I can think of that’s related to me.

osmetimes when i think im ugly i just think of my sister and it makes me feel better

in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

i think im a red zebra!! cuz im stripped red iykwim

Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell . Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment ?

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple

My dumb ass thinking i made a friend, oh ya i forgot literally nobody likes me!!!!

Some people say I'm rude but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I seen this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were I just love looking at an orphanage

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, i dont think you'd have any The orphan: But why? Me: Because if someone loved you they wouldn't have thrown you out.