Think jokes
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
I think them homosexuals are rather gay.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Yo forehead so big you think in HD.
Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?
Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.