Thing jokes
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
"The truest things ARE the funniest things."
-Lollipop from JacknJellify, the BFDI series.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
Memes
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?
Adolf Hit-her.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.