Thing jokes
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
"The truest things ARE the funniest things."
-Lollipop from JacknJellify, the BFDI series.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"