Thing jokes

People

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Orphan

What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?

Well, they weren’t always orphans.

Man

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Memes

Name

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Education

Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

Dad

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

A lot of counter-offers were made.

Child

What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.

Football

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

Sister

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

Ocean

What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)

Spam

What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?

Spam.

Animal

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

God

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

House

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Hairline

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

Light

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.