Thing jokes
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.
This is my name: watersharky!
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.