Thing jokes
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Memes
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?
Spam.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
Bender.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.