Thing jokes

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

To make tea, road, road, road, road.

Case.

The space of space, Der der.

The chosen week was chosen.

Object.

Der mezzer lakes.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.