Thing jokes

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Roblox jokes on this page in a nutshell: something about Roblox girlfriends, and "Add me on Roblox. My name is Sonicboy100299easyarsenaltowerofhellproxdlol."

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?

I want to fuck them both.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Covid.

Covid who?

The thing that killed half a billion people!

What is an orange?

World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There are twenty of them.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

20 years later

Johnny: Hey dad.

Dad: Yea?

Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

Dad:...

Hi, this is a good prank I did.

So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

(Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.

“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.

“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.

Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!

What do orphans and Trump supporters have in common?

No one likes them.

I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.

If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.

I will give the person credit each joke I do.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.