Thing jokes
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
Okay, when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape. I hate hearing and really saying the word. Just stop with all this nonsense. I say rape and sexist and woman assault jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker than women. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them.
Sincerely, watersharky (How did I not misspell????)
No such thing as peados.... it’s all nonce-sense!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”