Thing jokes
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.
Stop posting things on orphan jokes, then!
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.