Thing jokes

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

I don't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...

Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?

There are 20 8 year olds.

Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality?

Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

The only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes are his jokes.

What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?

THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)

What's the most annoying thing in the world?

When you're told you're still qualified to live.

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.

If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

One thing you can ask Mario:

"Can you jump up and down for me?"

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

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