They're jokes
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're never wanted.
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco."
Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?
They're so good at separating colors.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...