They jokes
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because they love serving up HOT BEATS!
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Your forehead and your hairline must be friends, because they go way back!
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!