They jokes

Why are Americans such good chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.

Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!

If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.

Why can’t orphans have a horse?

Because they run away like their mum did.

The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.

What did one pillow say to the other?

Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?

Cause they taste funny!

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?

What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.

Have you ever had African water??

Neither have they.

Why do ponies hate Silento?

Because they neigh neigh too much!

What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?

They hang from trees.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

Q: Why is America bad at chess?

A: Because they already lost two towers.