They jokes
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Memes
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.