They jokes
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because they were lost in the BEATS.
Memes
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?
They ordered two large planes.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
What do Africans always play? They play The Hunger Games.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."