They jokes
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Because they can't tell their parents.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.