They jokes
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Memes
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
Why aren't Americans good at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.