They jokes

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don't like fast food.

What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?

Oranges because they have vitamin C.

Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because all they can do is mandate.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t have a home to run to.

Why don't orphans have iPhones?

Because they don't have a home button.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They wanted pepperoni, but got plane instead.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

Why can't orphans go outside?

Because they have no parents to watch them!

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!