They jokes

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

Because they actually have a father there.

What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good

A man with a gun and a sword walks into a bar, sees a girl, and falls in love with her.

Man: "Hey, you are one beautiful girl. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Girl: "No, because you have a gun and a sword."

Man: "But I am already in love with you."

And then the man leaves to get the girl flowers and candy.

The girl is glad that he has gone, until thirty minutes later, when he shows up again.

Man: "Here are some flowers for you, beautiful girl."

And the girl throws the flowers in his face, and then everyone in the bar laughs, even the bartender.

Man: "And here is some candy."

And the girl throws the candy in his face, and everyone in the bar laughs again, and some teenagers walking down the street see it as well, and then they start laughing too.

One of the teenagers says "Hahaha, that is so funny. Seeing a man give a girl candy, and the girl throwing it in his face to show him that she hates him."

Girl: "I hate you, ugly man!"

Man: "Bartender, can I get some candy for my girl?"

The bartender laughs when he hears that, and then he says "Are you crazy? We don't serve-"

And then the man shoots the bartender with his gun and stabs him with his sword. An old man walking down the street can't believe what he just saw, so he calls the police to arrest the man who killed the bartender.

999 Service Guy: "999, what's your emergency?"

Old man: "I just walked past a bar, and I saw a man shoot and stab the bartender. Can you please get the police to arrest him? Tell them he is the man with a gun and a sword in his bag."

999 Service Guy: "Okay, no worries."

1 Hour later, the first man tries to dance the tango with the girl, and the girl kicks him in the leg, and then he tries to kiss her, and she punches him in the face.

Guy sitting at a table in the bar: "That man is crazy. Trying to kiss a girl who hates him."

And the police show up.

First Policeman: "Which man has a gun and a sword in his bag?"

The girl points to the man and says "This man."

Second Policeman: "Let's arrest him."

Man: "No, wait! I can explain."

Third Policeman: "Get in the back of the car."

When the police get to the Police Station with the man, the first policeman says "You will stay in prison for 10 years."

One week later, the man breaks the bars and escapes prison.

The police see him and run after him.

Third Policeman: "Come back here!"

The man doesn't listen, and he keeps running, so the police shoot him and he dies.

And instead of saying rest in peace on his gravestone, it says rest in pieces.

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!

Would you like to eat some African food?

So would they...

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.

During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!

Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

Why do white people carry Confederate flags?

To remind us that they are losers.

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?

The cow didn’t make it.

Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?

Because they don't like Dick's!

Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?

Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

'Cause they can’t get home.