They jokes
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Yo mama so fat!
She sunk the Titanic. She put on a blue coat and they thought she was an iceberg!
9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They always crash and burn.
Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.