They jokes

Eye

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

Disneyland

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Murder

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Blonde

Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?

Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.

Fetus

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

Karen

What do Karens do when they have free time?

They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.

Student

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

Music

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

People

Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?

They have to see food to eat.

Comedian

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!

Golfer

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Autistic kid

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

Hockey Player

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

Cookie

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."