They jokes
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
This goes out to my ex no name droppin tho
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ my titties, and then I felt a shoe get shoved all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE’S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched, and got smacked in the face. Went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF r u starin at," I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I though this this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!