They jokes
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home plate.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
They are hairy.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.