They jokes
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.