They jokes
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.