They jokes
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"