They jokes
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.