They jokes
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.