They jokes
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. π
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
Memes
Spooktober meme!!!
The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
Never break someoneβs heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.