They jokes

How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.

I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...

They just seem so forced.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't scream "daddy!"

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know how to hit a home run.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.