They jokes
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.