They jokes
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Never trust an atom; they make up everything.