They jokes
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.