They jokes
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D