Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The Dock
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
