Thereness jokes

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.

Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.

Is it all right when there is nothing left?

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Tank.

Tank who?

You're welcome.

I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Doctor Who."

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?

There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."