Thereness jokes
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."