Thereness jokes
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.