Thereness jokes
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tank." "Tank who?" "You're welcome!"
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.
But there is no F.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"