Thereness jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of 'em can see their parents.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.