Thereness jokes

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

Why does an emo wish they were a fish?

Because they're underwater.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.

There are women complaining about being r@ped.

JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.

There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.

Why does the orphan not buy milk?

That's what their parents are doing.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”

The bartender says, “No, only women.”

The man then leaves.

I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

How do Asian parents name their baby?

They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.