Q:There was two tampons walking down the road the other day guess what they said to each other
A:nothing cause they're both stuck up cunts
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to there other side!
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
What do emo s and the twin towers have in common there were 2 but now there are none
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
if there is a hair, the meat is ruined
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Roses are red Violets are blue A face like yours Belongs in a zoo Don't worry I'll be there too Not in the cage But laughing at YOU!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
You: “Knock knock” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house”
*Apple bottom jeans plays”
Knock knock, who’s there? Queen, Queen who? You don’t know the queen you’re crazy
Last night I burned an orphanage there was one survivor who said I would regret it I said "What are you gonna do tell your parents?"
kid "whats dark humor" mom "you see that man over there without arms tell him to clap" kid "I am blind mom" "exactly" said mom
There is nothing funnier than my life (Evan 2020)
What’s the difference between 911 and a abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Why do people love dating orphans? Because there always home alone
There was a kidnapping, but he woke up
Why does china have the biggest eyewear ? because all there eyes are to small
i tried to tell a orphan a knock knock joke but sadly there was no door to nock on
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street
