Thereness jokes

There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Who do you see over there???

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because there is no home.

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Wait, they don't have any.

What day is Labor Day?

It's the day mommies have their babies.

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Steven.

Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

Knock knock.

Who is there?

Mother.

Mother who?

Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!

Knock knock.

Jou is there?

Why don't you speak English?

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"

"Cargo." "Cargo who?"

"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?