Thereness jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty-one of them.
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
Knock knock. Who's there? Child. Child who? Child Millissa!
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality?
Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"