Thereness jokes
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There is nothing gayer than butt slapping the ass at Hooters.
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?