Thereness jokes
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
Memes
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
There is nothing gayer than butt slapping the ass at Hooters.
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mary."
"Mary who?"
"Marry me!"
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma dik fit in your mouth.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!