Thereness jokes

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.

What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

They're both fat.

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

Why did the orphan misbehave in school?

Because the principal couldn't call their parents.

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!

"What do you tell a person with depression?

Just hang in there, buddy!"

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."

Why does the orphan not buy milk?

That's what their parents are doing.