Thereness jokes
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why can’t orphans play baseball??
Because they can’t find their way to home plate.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!