Themselves jokes
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.