Themselves jokes
I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Why did Hitler go for handicap?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.