Themselves jokes
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
The Twin Towers were mad at each other, so they all just started launching planes at themselves.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(