Themselves jokes

Hitler

Why did Hitler go for handicap?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Sock

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

Orphan

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

Emo kid

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

Meetup

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.

Suicide

Suicide

How do pigs kill themselves?

They commit Kermit-cide.

Car Door

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

Orphan

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!

Emo

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Poop

When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.

Mexican

Not a joke but I hope the ones who are making jokes about Mexicans are Mexican themselves, lmao, cuz if you're not, uh... I think we both know what you are. 😟

Diabetes

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

China

Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.

Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

Wheelchair

Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Skating

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

Muffin

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.