Themselves jokes

Sock

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

Similarity

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Hitler

Why did Hitler go for handicap?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Orphan

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

Emo kid

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

Meetup

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.

Car Door

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

Orphan

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!

Emo

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Poop

When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.

Mexican

Not a joke but I hope the ones who are making jokes about Mexicans are Mexican themselves, lmao, cuz if you're not, uh... I think we both know what you are. 😟

Diabetes

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

China

Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.

Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

Plane

The Twin Towers were mad at each other, so they all just started launching planes at themselves.

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