Themselves jokes

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

I love teaching students

how to make them harm themselves.

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.

Why do you make fun of disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.

Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!

How do emos fly? They hang themselves.

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.

What sucks about disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

Why are cheetahs the best animals?

The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.

A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.

Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.

Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.

One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.

Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.

While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.

A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.

Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.

With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.

Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.

Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!