Them jokes

Chef

An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.

He called them: “ASPERGER’S”

Beef

Why don't chickens and sheep get along?

Because they have beef between them.

Blonde

How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.

Similarity

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

Cheek

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

Man

Why are gay men better than straight women?

Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.

Democracy

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.

Finger

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.

Communism

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

Emo kid

Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?

It died before them.

Animal

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

Skeleton

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

Religion

Why can't science be combined with religion?

Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

Orgasm

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Murder

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

Kid

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

Parent

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

Nonce

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.