How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Them Jokes
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
