Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
