Them jokes
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
me when my friends are nwea testing and i cant talk too them
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.