Them jokes

Trouble

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

One of them is actually loved.

Emo

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

Guy

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

Terrorist

How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.

Train Driver

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Ball

Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

Friend

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Love

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

Condom

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Swallow

A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

Orphan

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

Tree

People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Turtle

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.