Them jokes

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

One of them is actually loved.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?

They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.

Nobody still wanted them.

Why are orphans banned from the shop?

No adult to pay for them.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.