A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Them Jokes
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
