Them jokes

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

A: One of them gets picked.

How do you make orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap for their parents to come back.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."