Them jokes

Why do people call priests "Father"?

Because it’s too suspicious to call them "Daddy."

Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.

Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What month has 28 days?

All of them.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

How do you make orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap for their parents to come back.

Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?

Because nobody will actually look for them.

Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.