Them jokes

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"

"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."

"I meant the ice cream, bro..."

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.

Why do orphans hate apples?

Because they get picked over.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

What month has 28 days?

All of them.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!

Why don't orphans go home at pickup?

Because they don't have parents to pick them up.

Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.