Them jokes
Them: "You're ugly."
Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Memes
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?