Them jokes
Orphans have feelings too, but I don't understand why it's fun to make fun of them, right?
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"